“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get   you   there.” –  Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

If we want our children to become responsible, confident and happy adults, we need to work on it every day. Parents have many long-term goals for their children, but they often don’t know or forget how to act as their child is growing up, in order to accomplish those goals. It’s not an easy road to take. They are often busy and day to day duties remind them that life isn’t always fair. All that rush makes parents often forget that what they do every day for building a relationship with their children is actually investing in their future – and that’s priceless.

It’s not peculiar to see that parents have one thing as their long-term goal, and then do something completely different on an everyday basis, while also using ways that don’t result in the accomplishment of those long-term goals. For example, a parent wants their child to learn to choose what’s best for them. However, whenever a child wants to choose something, the parent makes the choice instead of them. Or, as another example, parents want their child to be confident. But when tries something, or when they’re curious, parents shout at them, label them and judge them.

Consider if sometimes you say the following:

• I want my son to become a capable and independent person, who finds his way in any situation, whatever happens;
• I want my daughter to become a confident woman who loves herself and her body;
• I want my son to become a husband who respects his wife;
• I want my child to be generous, to always respect others and help them;
• I want my child to have social and emotional skills they need to perform well and to get along with their peers at work;
• I want my child to be independent and choose what’s good for them.

This way, you’re actually setting long-term goals for your child. However, in order to achieve them, the first thing you need to do is set efficient, short-term goals.

Long-term goals give us direction and motivation, while short-term goals help us to get closer to the ultimate outcome one step at a time.

Short-term goals help you come closer to achieving your long-term goals for your child. Copyright: Katya Shut

Good short-term goals:

• are the basis for making decisions on a daily basis;
• motivate us and don’t allow us to lose our way;
• allow us to monitor our accomplishments.

In order to define good short-term goals you first need to ponder what are your long-term goals for your child. Think about what kind of person should they become, what qualities should they have and how should they treat themselves, their family and friends.

Write it down in a notebook that’s important for you and one you won’t lose.

Once you do that, you should work on yourself every day and set short-term goals for yourself.

In order for your short-term goals to be efficient, they should be:

1. Important – they should contain values you want to install in your child everyday and ones that motivate you;
2. Accomplishable – take into account the resources you have at your disposal (time, money, skills, support), conditions and all the circumstances necessary for achieving the goal;
3. Specific – provide detailed and clear descriptions of what you want to achieve and what your success is supposed to look like;
4. Time-limited– don’t dedicate your whole life to reach the goal, but a limited time period during which you can remember it and monitor it; and
5. Tangible – set a goal in a way which allows you to know when it is accomplished.

Here are a few more examples which may help your better understanding of the correlation between short-term and long-term goals:

Long-term goal: I want my child to be confident.

Short-term goal: This week, whenever my child makes an effort to do something difficult for them and something it has not mastered yet, I will praise them by telling them clearly what I like. I am going to avoid criticism and labeling such as: “You’re stupid, shame on you.”

Long-term goal: I want my child to appreciate life and be happy and thankful for everything that happens to them.

Short-term goal: Every night, I will dedicate a few minutes to tell them what I was thankful for that day.

Smiljana Grujic  is a psychologist and psychotherapist dedicated to education and a program manager for the Novak Djokovic Foundation.   The focus of her work is compassionate communication and emotions  management.

Smiljana is the coordinator of the  “Support, not Perfection”  program that supports parents who have children 0-6 years  old.

The post Short-term goals are guidelines for accomplishing what you want your child to become appeared first on Novak Djokovic Foundation.

Self-esteem is how people feel about themselves. Low self-esteem can be extremely damaging and can have many negative outcomes, usually manifested in adolescent depression, suicide, bulimia, and substance addiction. Teenagers often struggle with their body images while trying to mirror the airbrushed fashion covers of their favorite film stars, consequently feeling like they are not good enough. In addition to that, they frequently feel pressured by the need to be accepted at any cost. Low self-esteem means low self-worth. Nurturing positive attitude towards oneself is something we do not teach children in schools. Self-confidence at young age is fragile and adolescents should be encouraged to share their hopes and concerns with their parents and peer groups. Encouraging children to think positively about themselves is of utmost importance for their personal development. Back-to-school month not only brings a multitude of great things for an adolescent, but also some soul searching. Here are 4 tips serving as a daily dose of inspiration to help you boost and maintain your fabulous self.

Understand and grow your talents and skills

It is important to start investing in yourself from an early age. “Invest in what you know” is what I tell young boys and girls whenever they come to me seeking for advice. The more you know, the more confident you become with using and expressing your own skills and talents. For any great achievement a certain skill set has to be developed. Everyone has its mission to fulfill in life, and the sooner you are able to understand what your individual skillset is, the faster you will achieve it. Success is a process, it does not happen overnight, and every day that you spend learning and improving, you get closer and closer to becoming an expert in your chosen field.

Embrace your individuality, express your personality

People who achieved their goals had to embrace their individuality that did not necessarily conform to the established, societal norms. Celebrate your differences; it is important to stay in good faith and reinforce belief in yourself. The higher you go, the more pressure will have to endure. Additionally, you should always expect that there will be those who will try to oppose you. It is crucial that you start developing flexibility, adaptability and resilience. Keep reinforcing a positive attitude towards yourself. Love yourself.   What we think of ourselves is usually hidden after the statement “I AM”. So, grab a piece of paper and start writing all the loving and affirmative statements that follow “I AM”.

Visualize your dreams

Professional athletes do visualization exercises all the time. When I interviewed world tennis No.1, Novak Djokovic, in  the Spectator Life, he revealed that as a child, with his late coach Jelena Gencic, he had regularly visualized winning Wimbledon:

We were listening to this wonderful music and doing visualization exercises. Her philosophy was that these exercises would open up my creativity and help me believe my dreams. She thought this would help me clarify the image in my mind of winning Wimbledon and becoming the best tennis player in the world”¦ One of the best and the most emotional moments of my life was when I brought the Wimbledon trophy to Jelena’s house and put it among all the trophies I used to admire when I was a kid.

If you can dream it, you can achieve it!

No matter how small, celebrate your achievements

Challenges come as the time passes by; it is absolutely normal to have ups and downs throughout life. What everyone will tell you is that you should learn from your mistakes instead of letting them stop you from believing in yourself.   Mistakes happen and they are a normal part of life. Resilience is the ability to bounce back; you have to be ready to crash and burn. However, being able to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements is equally important as owning your mistakes. No matter how small, success is always good to celebrate. Getting a good grade on the exam, learning a new language, acquiring a new friend, experiencing a new country or winning a sports competition; it is very important that you keep record of your achievements as a reminder that you are going in the right direction. Success is a journey; with each positive statement you make about yourself, you are one step closer to your destiny.

The post How to boost self-confidence in children and young adults? appeared first on Novak Djokovic Foundation.