Picture a Venn diagram. Three circles. You, your child, and the internet. Each circle is its own entity, but as all three are intertwined, there are differences in the dynamics shared between the three. Learning how to create a safe environment within this Venn diagram will help you protect your child from cyberbullying and ultimately teach them to become responsible digital citizens.

Let’s clarify: Circle A represents you. Circle B represents your child. And, circle C represents that thing we call the internet. Sometimes in life, it’s necessary to focus in real close, to the details … other times, it’s more important to zoom out and take a look at how everything is connected in the big picture.

This Venn diagram shows four spaces between our three circles. Each space signifies a special relationship that every person, parent or child, has to learn how to navigate through.

Let’s begin with space 1: Your own relationship with technology.

 This is a self-evaluation stage, between circle “a” and circle “c”. Overlooked a lot of the time, but the way you act as a parent, regardless of what you preach, indirectly affects how your child behaves. Think about your own relationship with technology. Are you pleased with how much time you’re spending online? Do you spend time scrolling through social media mindlessly?

Would you be okay with your child adopting your online habits?

Setting boundaries for yourself is equally as important as telling your child to turn off the computer or to put down the phone. Recalibrate your own online habits and you’ll create a guideline for your child to follow. Children often mimic the actions they see their parents take, or don’t take. Don’t underestimate the power these small – yet pivotal – reflections can have.

Space 2: The parent-child relationship, itself.

Every relationship is unique, especially parent-child relationships (circle “a” and circle “b”). While this is a subject matter entirely on its own, the space we are concerned with in our trusty Venn diagram is that of communication. Building trust for open dialogue between you and your child is a crucial link to preventing cyberbullying. Knowing that they have a space to speak freely to you, children can feel comfortable coming to you to talk about what they do or do not know about, what I believe is still the greatest mystery of our time, the internet! It’s essential that your child knows they can trust you with what happens online: the good and the bad. When confronted in this space:

• listen to their concerns or troubles
• respond calmly with compassion
• be prepared to learn yourself

While this is a space to nurture your parent-child bond as a preventative measure against the isolation, secrecy, and mental illness associated with cyber-bullying, should your child find himself or herself in such a circumstance the key is to hold this space safe for them to ask for your help.

Setting guidelines for a responsible digital presence and protection from cyberbullying is what a child of the 21st century needs. Copyright: Syda Productions

Space 3: Your child’s personal experience with the online world.

As time goes on and technology advances, the interactions we have with it become more intimate. Parents must accept that these moments won’t always happen in your presence. It is up to you, in other spaces, to instill the right foundation of awareness and confidence so that when your child does interact with the online world, between circle “b” and circle “c,” he or she will act responsibly as a digital citizen. There is the option of totally cutting kids off from social media, for instance, but it is unlikely he or she won’t ever interact with the online world at some point.

Learning how to be mindful of the digital footprint you leave behind is a skill we all must learn and prepare our children for.

Ultimately, allowing children a sense of freedom of choice, after adequately preparing them, leads to stronger confidence and trust in your parent-child relationship.

Space 4: The sweet spot.

This is where you, your child, and the internet are all in one space. This is where you have the authority to enforce rules and restrictions that you deem necessary. Building a healthy relationship with technology usage may mean:

• keeping the computer in a common area of the home
• asking your child to show you his or her social media profiles
• setting time limits
• monitoring their behavior during and after online interactions
• asking for help if you need it

Make sure to keep any limitations reasonable. Going back to space 2, in keeping the dialogue open, maybe explain to your child why you are taking these preventative measures. Be transparent. If they understand that you are not trying to take something away from him or her but instead protecting them from the dangers of online behaviors, they may be more acclimated to abide by your rules and not retreat to unhealthy online habits. Kids are more receptive when they know they are being treated with respect.

It comes down to communication.

Above all, perhaps it’s more important, now more than ever, to learn to communicate with your child. Children are always learning and absorbing information; all the science in the world can tell you that. Talk to them about creating a responsible digital presence.

Just as technology keeps advancing, so should you as a parent. Don’t let this trouble you. Instead, take delight in the challenge of adapting to your child’s growing mind and developing character! Learn to create a system that works for you and your child with simple boundaries that will lead you to a healthier relationship with technology itself. Let’s put an end to cyberbullying.

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When I typed “how to make the Internet safer for your kids” in a Google search, I was presented with a list of 112 million results from all over the web in just 0.39 seconds. Isn’t it amazing?! In the era of modern technology we can use the Internet to study, or to chat with our friends and relatives regardless of their location on the globe. Furthermore, we are able to go on a virtual tour and visit the world’s famous museums, art galleries and historic sites, or find the information we need using encyclopaedias such as Wikipedia. There are countless similar benefits online that facilitate and enhance the quality of our lives. However, the Internet has its dark side too.

The Internet offers easy access to contents that are inappropriate for children, ranging from pornography, child abuse images, excessive violence or race hate materials, to incorrect data. Internet has become an essential element of children’s lives, bringing considerable benefits for their education and development. In most cases, children use the Internet for communication and entertainment, homework or school projects. Children and young people go online to connect with friends, and make new ones, to browse the internet for information, chat with others and play games. They may search for information or content on search engines like Google and Bing, share images and watch videos through websites or mobile apps like Instagram, Pinterest, Vine and YouTube, use social networking websites like Facebook and Twitter They can also write or reply to messages on forums and message boards, play games alone or with others through websites, apps or game consoles, chat with other people through online games, BBM (Blackberry Messenger), game consoles, webcams, social networks and tools like WhatsApp.

However, there are many security and privacy risks children face on the Internet. For example, a child can accidentally accept and share a file that can expose the whole family to risks of cyberbullying and cyber crime. They can easily make contact with predators who pose as peers or confidants, asking the kids to meet in person. The most vulnerable are children that parents left unsupervised. Therefore, it’s important to understand the impact of the Internet on minors in order to enhance their protection and support when using the Internet.

Try to strike the right balance between keeping an eye on your child and giving them the independence and freedom to explore. Simply sheltering them from the online world might not help them in the long run. They need a chance to learn how to behave online, and find out what’s out there.

Here are some tips to show you how to keep your children safe online:

Tip 1 – Get to know the technology

A good start is to learn a bit about the kind of things our children are interested in, help them locate suitable sites (which you can bookmark as favourites) before looking at additional software and browser functions to stop them stumbling across unsuitable sites. Another good tip is to encourage them to share information with us and talk about the sites they’ve visited from the very first time they use the web. This helps to create a sense of security, respect and openness that they can continue to apply as their use of the web increases. In addition, it’s important for parents to get to know the slang and abbreviations the kids use online. Some of the most common acronyms and abbreviations used on the net are:  LOL (laughing out loud), JK (just kidding), PIR (parent in room) and MIRL (meet in real life). There are also symbols for expressing different emotions (J – smile, D-laughing loud, L- sadness, anger). Thus, this can help parents to understand better their children’s online activities and internet usage.

Tip 2 – Talk about the Internet

Open communication between parents and children about the joys and dangers of the Internet is one of the best ways to keep your children safe. Surf with your child. Have them show you their favourite sites and activities. You should look to ensure your child is comfortable talking to you about anything they discover online. Make sure they know not to talk to strangers and to never give out their real name, address or other identifying information. As your children get older, and technology changes, make sure you keep talking about what they’re doing online and how to stay safe.

Tip 3 – Set rules and agree boundaries

It’s useful to agree on some ground rules together. These will depend on your child’s age and what you feel is right for them, but you might want to consider:

• the amount of time they can spend online
• when they can go online
• the websites they can visit or activities they can take part in
• sharing images and videos
• how to treat people online and not post anything they wouldn’t say face-to-face.

Tip 4 – Keep the computer in an open environment

Locating a child’s computer in a common area of the house facilitates better parental supervision. A centrally located PC increases the likelihood of a fast parental response should the child encounter cyber bullying or solicitation from an online sexual predator.

Tip 5 -Teach your children to use the Internet responsibly

Help them to understand how to avoid online dangers and use the Internet responsibly. It’s important for your kids to know that everything online is permanent. Everyone could potentially see their “likes” and “favorites” as well as their comments on other photos. This permanency counts for their online reputation. In addition, teach them not to post any personal information online, never to give out their passwords and not to befriend people they don’t know. Moreover, they should respect other people’s views. Even if they don’t agree with someone else’s views doesn’t mean they need to be rude. Thus, the Internet can be a tool that will not threaten the safety of your children.

Tip 6 – Filter, monitor and restrict

The best way to protect your children, especially if they are younger than 10, is to set up parental controls to stop your child from seeing unsuitable or harmful content online. The most popular programs parents can install to monitor their child’s activities and block inappropriate websites are NetNanny, SentryPC, KidsWatch, Time Sheriff, Web Watcher etc. These programs may also help you to screen the material you child receives via e-mail or in chat rooms.

When online, children and young people can learn new things, get help with homework, express themselves creatively and connect with friends and family. There are also risks, but by understanding and talking about the dangers you can help keep your child safe online.

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