The stories we hear of children and young people choosing to work to make a positive impact on the world and on the lives of others never fail to inspire us. There is, of course, Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani activist who is the youngest-ever Nobel Prize laureate, receiving the accolade for Peace in 2014 at just 17 years old. Lesser-known is a recent story I read of a young boy called Domynik who, for his seventh birthday, asked his mother not for gifts but for “money, birthday cards for people who don’t have enough money to play sports”, intending to donate said money to a charity that helps provide at risk and economically disadvantaged youth with athletic equipment. The list of these type of selfless youth continues on and on. Sadly, however, this list is not endless, as research suggests that young people in the United States (and, indeed, across the world, but particularly in more economically developed areas) are actually becoming more self-absorbed and, simultaneously, less aware of and connected to the people and world around them.

Copyright: Yuganov Konstantin

Empathy vs Self-absorption

Many of the studies that work to determine the levels of empathy among young people generally target the university-age demographic. Nonetheless, the findings suggest that the skills needed to connect with others in order to feel empathy and the desire to act charitably, rather than for your own personal gain, are cultivated in early childhood – therefore, it follows that those who are self-absorbed or think selfishly are likely to have missed a key aspect of learning and development when they were children. There are many statistics to back up this argument.

Firstly, a recent study found that students have become dramatically less empathetic between 1979 and 2009, particularly since 2000. Secondly, there has been shown to be an increase in narcissism (which correlates negatively with empathy) amongst university-aged students. Narcissists typically fail to possess empathetic qualities, are self-focused and view others in terms of their usefulness rather than true friendship (in some contexts, they might be called “social climbers”), so this is not promising for our global future. As one final example, it’s interesting (and worrying!) that 81% of 18-25 year olds surveyed in 2006 believed that “getting rich” is an important goal, and that 64% believe it is the most important goal. It should sadden, but perhaps not shock in light of the previous statistics, us all to note that only 30% believed that helping others in need is an important goal.

Particularly in a world that is becoming increasingly isolationist with the rise of nationalistic politics in several countries that act as key players on the global stage, consequently leading to the spread of skewed views and ideals that serve to harm the world’s most vulnerable (the growth of fears surrounding the rise of Syrian refugees, for instance), we cannot stand by and watch the next generations – i.e. the future of our countries and world – grow narrow-minded at the expense of those they could and should help out of crisis.

Copyright: Oksana Kuzmina

Awe: The Key To Developing Empathy

Over the years, there have been many suggested methods to try and encourage your child to be more empathetic and to understand the importance of “the bigger picture”. But new research suggests that there is another, potentially more powerful, way: awe. Although we know little about the experience of awe, we do know that being deeply inspired or drawn to ponder the meaning behind a painting, piece of music, or noble and selfless act allows us to feel a sense of vastness (“the bigger picture”) that gives us a whole new perspective on the world and where we sit in it. In other words, awe makes us feel more connected to the world we live in because we feel in the presence of something that’s greater than ourselves. Researchers suggest that it’s particularly important to experience awe during adolescence, given that this is a crucial period for identity-formation; however, it’s never too early to expose your child to this emotion, as awe only positively impacts our sense of self, allowing us to feel less impatient and become more inclined to volunteer our time to help others. Bringing more inspiring content into the classroom and the home, therefore, would be truly awesome.

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Do we even read anymore the words written on these boxes? Do we, out of force of habit, put some money in there, not even remembering the person it goes to? Does being charitable, in a modern world, comes down to dropping money through the hole? Are all those who give generous, and those who don’t open their wallets selfish and inhumane?

Kids today know much more than we do. They know that some of their peers are ill, that some are abandoned, and left to struggle on their own. They also know that some kids are suffering and dying. I have a feeling that I was faced with such stories much later in life.

But for that reason, I have also helped another much later than my older son.

This is a story that may help you, as a parent, to encourage your child and give him wings to do something small or big for another. I want to share this with you, as I believe that nice and positive stories encourage people to do good.

“Mom, today they set up a box in the school. Let me show you!”, says my son, a third-grader, while pulling my hand and directing me towards it.

HELP FILIP! He is gravely ill. The money is being collected so he can be helped and on the box, lays plastered a picture of a really cute boy with a smile on his face and cheerful eyes.

“Mom, please, give me some money, so I can help him”, says Stefan as he extends his hand, immediately assuming that I will pull out a wallet and give him the money he expects.

Without thinking I did reach for my bag, but I paused and thought to myself for the first time.

Is it enough to give your child some money just like that, in order to help someone? Is this the right way to teach him how to be charitable? Is it necessary to motivate him more to do something on his own for this boy?

“Son, I am proud of you for wanting to help, but if you really want to be charitable and help, you need to collect money on your own. Save some from your pocket money that you get everyday and I will double it”, I explained to him.

As we walked home, Stefan kept asking me questions about Filip’s illness: what is liver, why is it so important, how people can get liver disease and what are the treatments”¦ It was obvious that he had very carefully read all that was written on the box. At the same time, I was questioning my decision. Although I was sure it was the right thing to do, I was afraid that he, still too young, would not be motivated enough and that he might change his mind regarding collecting money to help Filip.

I decided to wait for two days, and if nothing happened, I would give him the money anyway.

However, that night Stefan made me feel ashamed of myself.

After school he didn’t come home straight away. Instead, he stayed with his friends who live in our street. It was slowly getting dark when they rang a doorbell.

Aleksa, Coka, Andreja, Sale, Maša and Stefan, unkempt, with muddy clothes and serious faces, held something in hands they called a “bunch of flowers”. It was rather a few field flowers and a lot of grass with roots and soil still on them, tied with rubber band for jars.

They were all talking in one voice: “Buy these flowers. Tomorrow we will take the money to school to help our friend Filip get better. The bouquet costs as much as you can give.”

I hardly fought back the tears.

That night, instead of a bedtime story, Stefan delightedly told me how they all got together, what deals they made, who chose the flowers, who tied the bouquets, who was collecting money, who will put the money in the box tomorrow”¦” He’s also planning to add some more from his pocket money”, he told me, explaining that he doesn’t have to buy anything for lunch tomorrow. “We have only four lessons and I will not be so hungry”…

I just wished to myself that they stay good like this forever.

I wonder what happens to us when we lose what they have. Now, when they are just kids…

The next day, they brought all the money to school and carefully put it into the box. A few days later, the box was gone. Every day Stefan inquired if there was any news about Filip. Unfortunately, he read the sad news that the little hero has passed away. He withdrew to his room and cried for hours…

A few months later he had a test in school where he was required to write an essay on the topic: “I did something good“. He wrote about Filip. At the end of his essay there was a wonderful sentence:  

I wish Filip could have made bouquets with us. I wish he could have played with us and ran with us in the woods. I will never forget him.

The post What Was Written on the Box appeared first on Novak Djokovic Foundation.

I hope you enjoy the variety of stories we publish.
I also hope you can learn something new from our articles and use the knowledge, advice and ideas in order to improve the quality of your life and the life of the people you know. This blog also motivates our team to work hard every day. We constantly read many articles and numerous studies, and trust me, we learn and discover these great new things together with you.

We don’t just dream – we dream BIG. That’s why we believe this blog can reach many people and create opportunities for improving lives of children, their families and thus the entire society.

A few weeks ago I announced on my twitter account that I would write a blog answering many questions regarding the issues I face while being executive director of NDF. In a very open and transparent way, I want to tell you what is actually happening in the process, what are our goals and motives, why all those charity dinners take place, what is the reason we invite celebrities, create and implement projects for kids…I am aware that many have been asking such questions. But, let me talk about the charity dinners later on. First things first, I want to share with you the details how everything started, and tell you what we had to do before we were able to organize such events.

Challenges

I think that one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced with in my life is running a charitable foundation. It is a huge responsibility and very serious work. Thus, it cannot be, as some people may think, a mere hobby. I have spent months and months learning, researching, talking to experienced philanthropists… I have also attended countless meetings with lawyers, since it is important to know various regulations and laws concerning this issue… It was as if I had gone back to school again. I’m still learning, and that makes me very happy.

What I insist on, when talking to people, is to realize that charity is actually a TEAM WORK. One person cannot change the world. In fact, such a thing is possible only if there is a large number of people helping you, working day and night, thus achieving visible results. Fortunately enough, NDF has a great team who share the same vision. They all eagerly want to help children, looking up to Novak, respecting him for all the things he has done in his life.

When a child is born, the whole family gathers and tries to raise the baby in the best possible way. Our Foundation wants to help hundreds, and hopefully hundreds of thousands of children to have a better childhood. This cannot be done by one man only. Novak is a great inspiration for all of us, our guide and a true leader on this path. The things we learn from him we share with children, their families and teachers. On the other hand, this Foundation is much more than Novak, much more than any individual. I like to say NDF is the beginning of a small revolution – we fight for the little ones, for the future generations, for those who do not give up. Everyone is important to us!

Initial NDF team

I find it very important to tell you how all of this started. I took over great responsibility and a challenge that is not at all easy to bear. Running the Foundation of the world’s best tennis player and athlete, being in constant spotlight and pressured with expectations, where no mistakes are allowed, and where everyone is watching you – means you have a lot of work to do! But, I was ready and excited to face that challenge, coming fresh out of university with my masters degree – full of energy, eager to show knowledge in practice. My name has often been mentioned in the media, which is quite normal since I’m Novak’s fiancee (just recently we got engaged), but the rest of the team working in the foundation is equally, if not more important than me. You probably wonder what it takes to start running the Foundation? If you want answers, please, continue reading.

The very beginning

I was lucky to have Ryan Tarpley by my side. He helped me a lot in running the Foundation during the first year and a half. Ryan works for CAA (Novak’s former agency) and his job is to help clients begin their engagement in philanthropy if they want to do such a thing. We don’t work together anymore, but i will never forget his contribution to NDF.

At first, we have spent a lot of time just talking about Novak’s likes and dislikes, his passion, the things he wants to do in the future, how he wants to help others. Believe me, this was a very interesting part of the job, because Novak has a lot of interests. In the same time, he is well aware and informed of the problems Serbia and surrounding countries are facing. He loves his country tremendously and he can rarely say “no” to anyone (he remembers well how much every “no” hurt his family when they were asking for help).  So, when we asked him “whom would you like to help” – he started listing everyone and everything! He wanted equally to help the old, the young, the ill, the healthy, libraries, museums, monuments, churches…It took us some time to narrow down his ideas, in order to come to where we are now. The moment we decided we should help the children, another challenge started.

I was very curious and excited, but at the same time I was afraid that I might do something wrong, or accidentally miss something important and thus put Novak’s reputation at stake. So, i started researching and learning as much as i could. I behaved like a little girl, constantly asking Ryan to help me and to answer my numerous questions: “how is that possible, why is that so?”… Patiently, he sent me tons of information, waiting for me to ask more questions after I finish reading new materials. And if you ask me, all these papers were not interesting at all. But I had to go through that painful process, in order to be able to run the Foundation.

With his help, we have rebranded the Foundation and registered it in the USA and England. It was quite a long and expensive process, I might say, but it was worth every penny.

More than two years ago “Novak Djokovic Foundation” operated under the name “Novak Fund”. It helped many children and families, towns, churches and monasteries.

Today, the focus of NDF is exclusively on education: we want to enable children from disadvantaged communities to grow up, play and develop in stimulative, creative and safe settings, whilst learning to respect others and care for their environment. We are doing this through our projects – they include renovating old and building new kindergartens and playgrounds, as well as providing funds for various programs and camps for children. We try to help them fulfill their childhood dreams. They will be able to achieve this if they invest in themselves and in their knowledge, if they respect others and care for their environment. Early childhood education gives a child a chance to return strongly to any challenge and become a winner in any field. At NDF, we believe in a world where all children have an equal chance to grow up and develop into productive, caring citizens of the world.

Why only a few people launch charitable foundations under their own names? Because it takes a lot of work to do and it’s a big risk, as well.

Just to be clear, managing the foundation is a 24/7 job – someone always needs your help, especially when you work for the children. You can forget about the weekends, there are no holidays, and you have to be ready to do all you can either during day or night. (BIG THANKS to the entire NDF team, for being available all the time!). Every foundation requires very long and expensive process of registration (only after that comes the managing). Law is very complex and therefore you need a lawyer and constant accountant services. At least, NDF are doing so – we want to be sure that there is nothing that might endanger our reputation. That leads me to the next point – there are so many ways you can make a mistake. There will always be someone to question your motives and to say something bad about you and your work. For others, you might not be on their top priority list, so your case or permission request will be just left aside – therefore you will not be able to implement certain projects in time as you have hoped (you have already promised people that you will implement something within a certain period of time, but since you cannot do it, you are in trouble explaining the situation to donors, children, the media…:( ). The affairs and problems in charity work can happen even though everything is powered with good intentions and genuine desire to help. This is possible because you can always come across something that can affect and twist your intentions and make it all wrong. Sometimes, it is hard to believe that some people are genuinely there to help, when being constantly on alert that somebody wants to cheat you and take what is yours. It’s a shame, but that’s true.

To cut to the chase, for all these reasons, the affluent people usually decide to donate money to a foundation of their choice and let it handle all the difficulties of managing, organization, fundraising, presenting the results and justifying the overheads and costs. It is so much easier than having somebody question your good intentions and maybe even turning them against you.

I was constantly worrying over how to organize work of the foundation and guide people who work for it in the way we had in mind. It’s amazing how many wonderful, selfless people work in the world of philanthropy. Ryan introduced me to many interesting and wonderful people from whom I have learned a lot. Dame Stephanie Shirley is one of them. Her story is very touching, and I invite you to read it. Her advice helped me create a vision of the Foundation in the right way, and how to unequivocally state it through our work and projects.

Soon after, we began to cooperate with UNICEF and Novak became UNICEF Ambassador for Serbia. Together we began to consider what are the exact problems that children are facing in Serbia and what is the area in which we could contribute the most. We used their experience, knowledge (they have been working for more than 20 years in our country) and help to select what organizations we would support. We were inspired by their efforts to support early child development, so we decided to do something similar – to invest in high quality programs which can make a difference in chidlren’s lives. Every day we have exchanged emails, ideas, experiences. At the beginning of the foundation’s work our research capacities were quite humble, and they have generously offered their help. UNICEF is still doing so. In addition, we have worked with them on a very large and important project for families who are at risk of relocation.

I have to mention Zorica Trikic, great woman with incredible energy who shared all her experience with me and the rest of the team. She helped in developing Schools of Life project that NDF today successfully implements in cooperation with Center for Interactive Pedagogy or CIP center. Since we are a very small foundation, we do not have so much experience in working directly with children, like CIP has. That is why they do this part of work, and, I must add, they do it in a fantastic way. Milica, Marija, Vuk… are part of the wonderful people from CIP we communicate with every day.

There is also our loyal NDF team: Gorana, Aleksandra, Marija, Nebojsa, Jelena, Jasna, Vlada, Lana, Rehana, Gordon, John, Moe, Ron, David, Alex… There are many others who contribute in various ways, and you can get to know them on “Who we are” page on our official website.

If you want my piece of advice: do not even think of going into adventure of helping others if you don’t have a team of people with a lot of integrity TO HELP YOU. I’m very grateful to every member of my team for the effort and energy they generously give while working for the Foundation, and I hope that our team will become even bigger with time.

To be continued on Friday…

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