{"id":16735,"date":"2019-07-26T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-07-26T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novakdjokovicfoundation.org\/zasto-je-vazno-da-roditelj-ovlada-strategijama-samoregulacije\/"},"modified":"2026-06-09T08:36:49","modified_gmt":"2026-06-09T08:36:49","slug":"zasto-je-vazno-da-roditelj-ovlada-strategijama-samoregulacije","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novakdjokovicfoundation.org\/sr\/zasto-je-vazno-da-roditelj-ovlada-strategijama-samoregulacije\/","title":{"rendered":"Put do dobrih izbora i ishoda – za\u0161to je va\u017eno da roditelj ovlada strategijama samoregulacije?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ru\u010dak na \u0161poretu, ku\u0107a u neredu, a Vi umorni i ne znate \u0161ta prvo da po\u010dnete da radite. Jo\u0161 usred tog haosa, Va\u0161e dete ima napad ljutnje jer \u017eeli da se ba\u0161 u tom trenutku igrate sa njim. A Vi? Do\u0111e Vam da iza\u0111ete iz sopstvene ko\u017ee i da oglasite da danas niste kod ku\u0107e i da ste negde otputovali.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Svakome od nas su poznate takve situacije – kada se zbog optere\u0107nosti brzinom svetlosti pojave neprijatna ose\u0107anja<\/strong> koja nas teraju da \u010desto odreagujemo prema detetu na na\u010din kojim posle obi\u010dno nismo zadovoljni. \u0160ta raditi u takvim situacijama? Da li treba iskaliti svoju ljutnju na detetu<\/strong><\/a> i zatvoriti ga u sobu da se smiri? Da li zahtevati i jasno re\u0107i da ste Vi vrhovni donosilac odluka u Va\u0161oj ku\u0107i? Ili ipak dozvoliti detetu da ono samo donose odluku kako \u0107ete reagovati takvim situacijama iako ne ume da se pona\u0161a po Va\u0161im kriterijumima<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

Tako\u0111e \u0161ta raditi sa tom „spodobom“ zvanom ose\u0107aj krivice?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Taj ose\u0107aj je kao neki progonitelj zbog kojeg se neki i do\u017eivotno zaklinju da vi\u0161e sebi nikada ne\u0107e dozvoliti \u00a0da se ne\u0161to sli\u010dno ponovi. Ali \u0161to se vi\u0161e zaklinjemo, \u010de\u0161\u0107e nas \u017eivot vrlo brzo demantuje<\/strong>, pa u slede\u0107oj sli\u010dnoj situaciji obi\u010dno ponavljamo taj isti na\u010din regovanja na neprihvatljivo pona\u0161anje dece.<\/p>\n

Neki roditelji se posle tih reakcija izvinjavaju deci, neki se i zapla\u010du sa gorkim ukusom u ustima i sa pitanjem: \u201cBo\u017ee, da li od sebe pravim klovna i \u010dijim \u017eivot se ja to igram<\/em>?\u201d\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Po\u0161to ni\u0161ta nije jednostavno, na to se dodaje i specijalni za\u010din<\/strong> u obliku na\u0161ih mama, tata, tetaka, svekrva,\u00a0 koji su \u00a0gosti sa detetove strane i koji imaju razumevanje za dete. Sve te situacije onda oni dosole<\/strong>\u00a0 raznim dijagnozama – da smo prolupali i da sa nama ozbiljno ne\u0161to nije u redu.<\/p>\n

Va\u017eno je da razumemo \u0161ta se de\u0161ava u tim situacijama u na\u0161em mozgu<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Aktivira se deo mozga u kome se procesuiraju emocije i pali sirena za stres<\/strong>.<\/h2>\n

Kad se sirena za stres upali, lu\u010di se hormon stresa koji blokira rad\u00a0kontrolnog centra <\/strong>u prednjem delu mozga. Time se ograni\u010dava na\u0161a sposobnost da logi\u010dno i pa\u017eljivo razmi\u0161ljamo o datoj situaciji i tada naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e ne mo\u017eemo da sagledamo mogu\u0107e posledice na\u0161eg delovanja. Umesto toga, postupamo po instinktu i nepromi\u0161ljeno reagujemo<\/strong>, jer ne sagledavamo posledice.<\/p>\n

Tada smo skloni da vi\u010demo, udarimo, prosipamo, padamo, vre\u0111amo, i etikatiramo. U takvim situacijama se pojave i prosu\u0111iva\u010dke misli<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

\u201cNe\u0107e\u0161 ti meni da pametuje\u0161, ja sam te rodila i ja \u0107u donosite odluke. Zna se ko je glavni u ovoj ku\u0107i!\u201d\u009d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cVidi ti ovo deri\u0161te misli da je ja\u010di od mene. Nisam te ja rodila da se ti meni pona\u0161a\u0161 na taj na\u010din!\u201d\u009d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u0160ta mo\u017eemo da u\u010dinimo u takvim situacijama? <\/strong><\/h2>\n

Da bismo mogli da \u010dujemo sopstvena ose\u0107anja<\/strong>, kao i ose\u0107anja dece u tim situacijama i da shvatimo koje potrebe stoje iza neprihvatljivog pona\u0161anja deteta, neprijatnih ose\u0107anja i prosu\u0111iva\u010dkih misli, treba da dozvolimo da radi na\u0161 kontrolni centar. A na\u0161 kontrolni centar<\/strong> mo\u017ee da radi samo kada je na\u0161a sirena za stres isklju\u010dena. Zna\u010di, pre nego \u0161to reagujemo treba da sa\u010dekamo da se sirena za stres ugasi. Samo tako \u0107emo spre\u010diti sebe da ka\u017eemo ili\u00a0 uradimo ne\u0161to zbog \u010dega \u0107emo se kasnije kajati.<\/p>\n

Kada isklju\u010dimo sirenu za stres, to nam omogu\u0107ava da donosimo odluke koje su u skladu sa na\u0161im dugoro\u010dnim ciljevima koje imamo za na\u0161e dete.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Prosu\u0111iva\u010dke misli<\/strong> poja\u010davaju na\u0161u ljutnju i one u stvari oblikuju na\u0161e emocije, i one nas navode na neprimerene re\u010di i neadekvatne reakcije, koje nisu u skladu sa na\u0161im dugoro\u010dnim ciljevima i vrednostima koje \u017eelimo da razvijamo. Zato je va\u017eno da imamo pecaljku za misli i da ih jednom udicom pecamo<\/strong> da bi bili svesni tih misli. Kada ih upecamo<\/strong>, a to nije lak proces jer one se roje brzinom svetlosti<\/strong>, treba da prepoznamo koje na\u0161e potrebe stoje iza tih prosu\u0111iva\u010dkih misli. To su potrebe koje ima svaki roditelj<\/a> i one su potpuno legitimne, a naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e su to potrebe za razumevanjem, uva\u017eavanjem, za\u0161titom deteta i podsticanjem njihovog razvoja.\u00a0 Najbolju reakciju mo\u017eemo planirati tek onda kada prepoznamo misli i kada otkrijemo potrebe koje stoje iza tih misli.<\/p>\n

\"\"<yoastmark\"<\/p>\n

Verovatno mislite da je to nemogu\u0107a misija. Ali da Vas ohrabrimo – to jeste te\u017eak zadataka, ali je mogu\u0107!<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Kada reagujemo samo iz onoga \u0161to mislimo, ljutnja se pona\u0161a kao mala vatra, koja vrlo brzo preraste u veliki po\u017ear.<\/p>\n

A kada razumemo potrebe koje stoje iza tih misli, otvaramo mogu\u0107nost da reagujemo na na\u010din kojim \u0107emo vaspitavati na\u0161e dete, a ne dresirati.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A verujem da vi ho\u0107ete da vaspitavate, a ne da dresirate!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Primena neke strategije samoregulacije<\/strong> \u0107e nam pomo\u0107i da nam se sirena za stres ugasi i da smirimo na\u0161 um i telo. Praktikuju\u0107i tu strategiju, mi umirujemo na\u0161 emocionalni mozak<\/strong>. Posle odre\u0111enog vemena ose\u0107a\u0107emo se bolje i mo\u017eemo da razmi\u0161ljamo jasnije. Zato je bitno da u tim situcijama nau\u010dimo da malo \u201coladimo<\/strong>\u201d\u009d. Jer kada \u201coladimo\u201d\u009d imamo vremena da promislimo i tada se u delu mozga koji je za to zadu\u017een, informacije srede i mi onda mo\u017eemo da izaberemo konstruktivan na\u010din delovanja<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Koje su to tehnike samoregulacije?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
    \n
  1. \n

    Brojite do 10!<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Ova tehnika nam dopu\u0161ta da razmislimo umesto da nepromi\u0161ljeno reagujemo u datoj situaciji. Kada primenimo ovu strategiju, iz centra mozga u kome se procesuiraju emocije \u0161alju se informacije delu mozga koji je zadu\u017een za racionalno razmi\u0161ljanje da se umiri,\u00a0 a to nam omogu\u0107ava da donesemo racionalnu odluku.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \n

      Di\u0161ite<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Usmerite se na disanje. To poma\u017ee smirivanju va\u0161eg tela, usporava sr\u010dane otkucaje i izo\u0161trava fokus. Koncentrisanje na disanje podsti\u010de bolje funkcionisanje mozga.<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. \n

        Prihvatite svoj\u00a0 stres<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Napravite svoj alat za merenje stresa i kada ste u ovoj situaciji obele\u017eite na kom ste nivou. Prihvatanje stanja u kome ste je prvi korak da iza\u0111ete konstruktivno iz opisane situacije. Tada se naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e otvaraju alternative kako da iz te situacije iza\u0111ete na konstruktivni na\u010din.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \n

          Prevedite \u201cmoram\u201d\u009d u \u201c\u017eelim\u201d\u009d<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Malo stvari se u \u017eivotu mora! A \u0161ta \u017eelite? Da budete smireni i da na\u0111ete na\u010din kako da zavr\u0161ite ovo \u0161to ste po\u010deli, a da se pri tome ose\u0107ate dobro i Vi i oni koje volite oko Vas.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. \n

            Recite sebi ne\u0161to ohrabruju\u0107e.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n
          2. \n

            Napravite pauzu za sebe i skuvajte kafu ili \u010daj. <\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n
          3. \n

            Setite se svoje omiljene pesme koja vam vra\u0107a svu potrebnu energiju.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n
          4. \n

            Uradite nekoliko ve\u017ebi – ispravite le\u0111a, \u010du\u010dnite-ustanite, i tako nekoliko puta!<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n
          5. \n

            Iza\u0111ite na vazduh ili u \u0161etnju.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n
          6. \n

            Vri\u0161tite u jastuk, udarite ga, pa na kraju zagrlite jastuk.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Kada oluja pro\u0111e, obi\u010dno u roditeljima ostaje ose\u0107aj krivice \u0161to nisu druga\u010dije odreagovali. A mogli su, samo nisu ve\u017ebali! Zato je va\u017eno da se roditelji naoru\u017eaju strpljenjem i da polako ali sigurno prona\u0111u sopstvenu strategiju samoregulacije ili usvoje neku sa na\u0161eg spiska koja \u0107e ih umiriti u situacijama kada se emocije ustalasaju.<\/p>\n

            Na taj na\u010din ne\u0107ete mo\u0107i da zaustavite talas, ali \u0107ete nau\u010diti da plivate kada se talasi pojave. Bolje \u0107ete se ose\u0107ati u roditeljskoj ulozi i ima\u0107ete vi\u0161e razloga da sebe posipate \u0161e\u0107erom, a ne solju. Nadam se da je bolje da se u\u0161e\u0107erite, nego da se presolite!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

            \n

            Smiljana Gruji\u0107 je programski menad\u017eer Fondacije Novak \u00c4\u0090okovi\u0107, a po struci je psiholog i psihoterapeut.\u00a0U fokusu interesovanja su joj saose\u0107ajna komunikacija i\u00a0upravljanje\u00a0emocijama.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

            Smiljana vodi projekat,\u00a0Podr\u0161ka Ne Perfekcija<\/a>\u00a0koji pru\u017ea podr\u0161ku roditeljima dece\u00a0od\u00a00-6\u00a0\u00a0godina.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            Ru\u010dak na \u0161poretu, ku\u0107a u neredu, a Vi umorni i ne znate \u0161ta prvo da po\u010dnete da radite. Jo\u0161 usred tog haosa, Va\u0161e dete ima napad ljutnje jer \u017eeli da […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":12111,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,21],"tags":[1600,1220,1568,1434],"class_list":["post-16735","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-posts","category-rani-razvoj","tag-briga-o-sebi","tag-saveti-za-roditelje","tag-stres","tag-toksicni-stres"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nPut do dobrih izbora i ishoda - za\u0161to je va\u017eno da roditelj ovlada strategijama samoregulacije? - Novak Djokovic Foundation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/novakdjokovicfoundation.org\/sr\/zasto-je-vazno-da-roditelj-ovlada-strategijama-samoregulacije\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sr_RS\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Put do dobrih izbora i ishoda - za\u0161to je va\u017eno da roditelj ovlada strategijama samoregulacije? - Novak Djokovic Foundation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ru\u010dak na \u0161poretu, ku\u0107a u neredu, a Vi umorni i ne znate \u0161ta prvo da po\u010dnete da radite. 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