{"id":16542,"date":"2018-06-12T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-12T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novakdjokovicfoundation.org\/kako-reagovati-kada-nas-dete-ne-slusa\/"},"modified":"2023-02-14T16:19:08","modified_gmt":"2023-02-14T16:19:08","slug":"kako-reagovati-kada-nas-dete-ne-slusa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novakdjokovicfoundation.org\/sr\/kako-reagovati-kada-nas-dete-ne-slusa\/","title":{"rendered":"Kako reagovati kada nas dete ne slu\u0161a?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Umorni ste, \u010deka vas ru\u010dak na \u0161poretu, a ku\u0107a je u takvom neredu. Na sve to, va\u0161e dete je upravo odlu\u010dilo da dodatno za\u010dini situaciju jednim bezrazlo\u017enim napadom besa. Zvu\u010di poznato? Posmatrate sve ovo u neverici i pitate se u sebi:<\/strong><\/p>\n

— \u0160ta sad da radim? Kako da ovo re\u0161im? Da li da sve pustim da ide bestraga, da sednem i pla\u010dem nad sopstvenim \u017eivotom ili da se lepo „terapeutski“ izderem na svoje dete i po\u0161aljem ga u sobu da se smiri? Da se zna ko u ovoj ku\u0107i mora da spremi ru\u010dak i bez koga se ne mo\u017ee.<\/em><\/p>\n

U ovakvim situacijama, ve\u0107ina roditelja sebi nej\u010de\u0161\u0107e govori kako ovako ne\u0161to vi\u0161e ne\u0107e dozvoliti sebi i kako \u0107e u\u010diniti sve da se ovakva situacija ne ponavlja. I kako to u \u017eivotu biva, sutra opet krene sve ispo\u010detka, ili \u0161to bi se u narodu reklo, “ ‘ajmo jovo-nanovo“.<\/p>\n

\u0160ta treba uraditi u ovoj situaciji?<\/h3>\n

Odakle da krenemo i kako da odredimo prioritete? Kako da osvestimo da ovakve situacije nisu dobre ni za nas, ni za na\u0161e dete – ni dugoro\u010dno, ni kratkoro\u010dno?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Za po\u010detak, treba da razumemo kako ovakve situacije deluju na na\u0161e dete i na njegovo pona\u0161anje u budu\u0107nosti, na njegova ose\u0107anja, \u017eelje i te\u017enje.<\/p>\n

Koje su to ta\u010dno situacije?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sve one u kojima nemamo kontrolu nad sopstvenim pona\u0161anjem, u kojima smo ljuti, koje u trenutku ne mo\u017eemo da prihvatimo i koje \u017eelimo da promenimo. Kada dete radi ne\u0161to \u0161to je za nas neprihvatljivo mi nemamo kontrolu kako se mi ose\u0107amo i \u0161ta je to \u0161to mi \u017eelimo da dete uradi da bi popravilo pona\u0161anje. Tada naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e nare\u0111ujemo, kritikujemo, analiziaramo, pla\u0161imo, pri\u010damo u nedogled. Tada, a \u010desto toga nismo ni svesni, kao roditelj „igramo“ na strah, pla\u0161imo, pretimo, vi\u010demo, udaljavamo dete bez obrazlo\u017eenja.<\/p>\n

Detetu naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e nije jasno \u0161ta \u017eelimo od njega, ne zna \u0161ta o\u010dekujemo, \u0161ta treba da uradi, blokira se zbog do\u017eivljenog straha i ono \u0161to se naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e de\u0161ava u\u010dvr\u0161\u0107uje se negativno pona\u0161anje.<\/strong> Ako takvo pona\u0161anje i promenite, to bude kratkoro\u010dno. Takvo pona\u0161anje roditelja nije razvojno podsticjno za dete. Zato je PRVA STVAR KOJU TREBA DA URADITE da ugasite sirenu za stres<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

Ga\u0161enje sirene za stres je te\u017eak zadatak, ali to nije nemogu\u0107e<\/strong>. Iz iskustva znate da ni\u0161ta nije lako, a ni previ\u0161e te\u0161ko. Bitno je da verujete i da to svesno \u017eelite.<\/p>\n

\u0160ta se u na\u0161em organizmu de\u0161ava kada na\u0161e dete uradi ne\u0161to \u0161to ne bi trebalo ? U tim trenucima, pali se sirena za stres u na\u0161em mozgu. Kad se ta sirena upali, lu\u010di se hormon stresa, kortizol. Time se ograni\u010dava na\u0161a sposobnost da logi\u010dno i pa\u017eljivo razmi\u0161ljamo o datoj situaciji i o mogu\u0107im posledicama na\u0161eg delovanja u toj situaciji. Naj\u010de\u0161\u0107e postupamo po instinktu. Skloni smo da vi\u010demo, udarimo, prosipamo, padamo, pla\u010demo nad sopstvenim \u017eivotom – pa \u010desto proglasimo da je dete krivo za novonastalu situaciju, i re\u0161imo da ga vaspitavamo u ovoj situaciji tako \u0161to ga pljesnemo po guzi, vi\u010demo\u201d\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kojim tehnikama se mo\u017eete poslu\u017eiti?<\/h2>\n

BROJTE DO 10<\/h3>\n

Ova tehnika dopu\u0161ta da razmislite umesto da nepromi\u0161ljeno reagujete u datoj situaciji. Kada ovo primenimo, iz centra u mozgu u kome se procesuiraju emocije \u0161alje se informacija delu mozga koji je zadu\u017een za racionalno razmi\u0161ljanje da se umiri. To nam omogu\u0107ava da donesemo racionalnu odluku \u0161ta raditi u ovoj situaciji, nasuprot nerazumnom reagovanju.<\/p>\n

Ovo je mogu\u0107e samo onda kada isklju\u010dimo svoju sirenu za stres. A mo\u017eemo je isklju\u010diti disanjem. Dubokim, ritmi\u010dnim disanjem iz stomaka. Tako hranimo svoj mozak kiseonikom i deo mozga u kome se procesuiraju emocije se umiruje, a mi lak\u0161e i bolje donosimo odluke o tome \u0161ta nam je \u010diniti u ovoj situaciji.<\/p>\n

PRIHVATITE SVOJ STRES<\/h3>\n

Napravite svoju skalu za merenje stresa i kada ste u ovoj situaciji obele\u017eite na kom ste nivou. Prihvatatanje stanja u kome ste, prvi je korak da iza\u0111ete konstruktivno iz situacije koja vas uznemirava. Tada otvarate alternative, kako da iz konkretne situacije iza\u0111ete ne povre\u0111uju\u0107i ni sebe, ni druge.<\/p>\n

PRETVORITE „MORAM“ U „\u017dELIM“<\/h4>\n

Moramo samo da umremo kada za to do\u0111e trenutak, i da se porodimo ako smo trudni isto kada za to do\u0111e trenutak. Zna\u010di, malo stvari moramo!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Promislite \u0161ta \u017eelite od ove situacije — da budete smireni i da na\u0111ete na\u010din kako da zavr\u0161ite ono \u0161to ste po\u010deli, a da se pri tome ose\u0107ate dobro i vi i oni koje volite oko sebe.<\/p>\n

Umesto \u0161to \u0107ete sebi re\u0107i:<\/p>\n

‘‘Moram sada da smirim i kontroli\u0161em situaciju.“<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

ka\u017eite:<\/p>\n

“\u017delim da objasnim detetu kako njegovo pona\u0161anje uti\u010de na mene i \u017eelim da on\/ona \u010duje \u0161ta mu govorim“\u00a0<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

ili umesto:<\/p>\n

„Mora sada da pospremi igra\u010dke koje su razbacane po celom stanu“,<\/em> recite sebi „\u017delim da moje dete nau\u010di da stvari koje koristi (u ovom slu\u010daju igra\u010dke) vrati tamo gde im je mesto.“<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Kada na ovaj na\u010din razmi\u0161ljate, vi sami odre\u0111ujete prioritete i nekada \u0107e se desiti da \u0107ete od ne\u010dega odustati zarad sebe samih i vide\u0107ete da nije neophodno da forsiramo neke stvari u \u017eelji da delujemo savr\u0161eno. Taj pojam slobodno izbri\u0161ite iz re\u010dnika jer on ne postoji. Ni savr\u0161en \u010dovek, ni savr\u0161ena \u017eena, a ponajmanje savr\u0161en roditelj.<\/p>\n

NAU\u010cITE DA BODRITE SEBE<\/h3>\n

Recite sebi \u201csutra je novi dan\u201d\u009d, \u201covo \u0107e pro\u0107i\u201d\u009d, \u201cnije ba\u0161 sve tako crno\u201d\u009d. Posipanje \u0161e\u0107erom mnogo vi\u0161e prija nego posipanje solju, i uti\u010de da se tok misli promeni brzinom svetlosti.<\/p>\n

DAJTE SEBI PAUZU<\/h3>\n

Skuvajte kafu. Udahnite duboko. Ovakve situacije se mnogo lak\u0161e re\u0161avaju hladne glave.<\/p>\n

FOKUSIRAJTE SE NA POZITIVNE EMOCIJE<\/h3>\n

Setite se na primer svoje omiljene pesme koja vam uvek popravi raspolo\u017eenje. Kada se fokusiramo na lepe i drage emocije to nam vra\u0107a optimisti\u010dno razmi\u0161ljanje.<\/p>\n

PROMRDAJTE SE MALO<\/h3>\n

Uradite nekoliko ve\u017ebi, ispravite le\u0111a, \u010du\u010dnite-ustanite. Pa tako nekoliko puta!<\/p>\n

IZA\u0110\u0090ITE NA VAZDUH ILI U \u0160ETNJU<\/h3>\n

Vratite se kada se primirite. I nemojte da zaboravite da povedete dete sa sobom – i njemu i vama \u0107e promena prostora i vazduha prijati.<\/p>\n

I ako sve ovo gore navedeno ne uspe da vas vrati u po\u010detno stanje, poku\u0161ajte staru dobru tehniku vri\u0161tanja u jastuk. Vri\u0161tite u jastuk, udarite jastuk, pa zagrlite jastuk. Kada su emocije nagla\u0161ene, uvek je dobro da se one negativne koje pozivaju na ljutnju i nasilno pona\u0161anje izbace, a bolje ih je usmeriti prema jastuku, nego prema sebi ili nekom drugom. \u010culi ste verovatno i sami koliko sportovi poput kickboxa poma\u017eu pri smanjenju stresa. Ne morate da idete na \u010dasove ukoliko ne \u017eelite, ali nekad i stari dobri jastuk moze da pomogne pri izbacivanju vi\u0161ka ovakve energije.<\/p>\n

Na kraju, osmislite sami tehniku koja \u0107e vam najvi\u0161e prijati i koja \u0107e vas smiriti, i ne zaboravite:<\/p>\n

\u017divot je satkan od onih nezaboravnih trenutaka, ali i od onih u kojima se ponekad ne snalazimo najbolje. Kako \u0107e ti trenuci izgledati zavisi samo od nas. Mi biramo!<\/strong><\/p>\n

O ovim i mnogim drugim izazovima u roditeljstvu mo\u017eete saznati vi\u0161e kroz na\u0161 program \u201cPodr\u0161ka, ne perfekcija\u201d\u009d<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Ukoliko ste zainteresovani da saznate vi\u0161e o programu, po\u0161aljite nam mejl na adresu projekti@novakdjokovicfoundation.org ili podelite svoje iskustvo u komentaru ispod!<\/p>\n

O autorki<\/strong><\/p>\n

Smiljana Gruji\u0107<\/strong> je psiholog i psihoterapeut posve\u0107en obrazovanju. U fokusu interesovanja su joj saose\u0107ajna komunikacija i upravljanje emocijama. Smiljana je tako\u0111e program menad\u017eer Fondacije Novak \u0110\u0090okovi\u0107 i vodi program\u00a0\u201cPodr\u0161ka, ne perfekcija\u201d\u009d<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Umorni ste, \u010deka vas ru\u010dak na \u0161poretu, a ku\u0107a je u takvom neredu. Na sve to, va\u0161e dete je upravo odlu\u010dilo da dodatno za\u010dini situaciju jednim bezrazlo\u017enim napadom besa. Zvu\u010di […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":16543,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-posts","category-rani-razvoj"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKako reagovati kada nas dete ne slu\u0161a? - Novak Djokovic Foundation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/novakdjokovicfoundation.org\/sr\/kako-reagovati-kada-nas-dete-ne-slusa\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sr_RS\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kako reagovati kada nas dete ne slu\u0161a? - Novak Djokovic Foundation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Umorni ste, \u010deka vas ru\u010dak na \u0161poretu, a ku\u0107a je u takvom neredu. 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